All We Have Lost
by JimberlyShipper
Summary: Quinn and Puck deal with Shelby and Beth being gone. Sexytimes end up ensue.


_**Disclaimer: The characters of glee are not mine. This is how I think Puck and Quinn could be after Shelby leaves. However, since I don't want to acknowledge P/S if I don't have to, that part never happened, and this might have a bit of fluff mixed in with the angst. But oh my God, I am NOT looking forward to Shelby leaving, only 'cause my bb Puckers will be crushed. OMG. **_

All We Have Lost

By Julia

It had been hard to find out the way they did. They had gone over to Shelby's, Puck wanted to try and talk Shelby into letting Quinn see Beth. They had found the apartment empty. She had just packed up and left. Puck had had a shocked look on his face, and Quinn had started to cry. Puck put his arms around her and they stood in the empty apartment for a little while. Puck could not believe she had done this. Maybe she shouldn't have come back. This was going to be super hard.

Finally, Quinn was tired of standing in the empty apartment, and they left. Puck asked if she wanted him to take her home. She surprised him. "Um, no, can you just stay with me? Take me somewhere. I just don't want to be alone." Her voice sounded small.

Nodding, Puck felt butterflies, that was definitely not badass. He led them out to his truck, and opened the door for her. Dating Lauren had taught him a lot about how to treat women. He wasn't sure what was going to happen with Quinn, but he loved her. He just wasn't showing it right now. He didn't know what she was going to say. He hadn't been able to say no to her sex offer the other night, and it had definitely been ill advised. But he loved her, and she had asked him to sleep with her. He had given in.

Quinn climbed into the truck, and he closed the door for her and went around. She had felt odd around Puck since they'd slept together. She wasn't sure what they were now, but the sex had been good. She didn't think she was pregnant, but she was glad that he'd agreed to sleep with her. Even without protection. Having another child would be nuts, but she couldn't help it. She had wanted him, and she had had to ask. She was glad he'd said yes. Even if a baby _did_ result from the union.

They just sat there for a minute, Puck was trying to decide where to go. Tears had tracked their way down his face, and he'd brushed them away angrily. Crying was so not badass. He was wondering what he and Quinn were. He turned to look at her. "Quinn, what _are_ we? We slept together. I hate to be the girl here, but what did it mean to you?" He was all jumbled up, and didn't know what to think.

That was something Quinn wasn't sure she had the answer to. "I know I love you. That's all I know for sure. I don't know how we're going to get through this, but I do know I love you." That had been hard for Quinn to admit. She didn't readily admit these things.

Puck looked at her, a little bit in disbelief. He didn't know why she was being so honest, but he wasn't going to turn it down. "I love you, too, Quinn." He said. A part of him had _always _loved her, and that was the same part of him that was always going to love her. Quinn was Puck's first love. No matter what happened he'd always love her. "So are we together now?" He asked.

Another question that Quinn wasn't sure she had the answer to. But she knew she couldn't get through this without him. She reached over to take his hand. Lacing her fingers through his, she said, "I don't know, Puck, but I do know I can't make it through Beth being gone without you."

Tears pricked at Puck's eyes. He hated that Beth was gone. He had wanted to be in her life. It had been amazing having her there. He wished that Shelby had let them say goodbye, he hadn't known the last time he'd see her would be the last time. "It's so not badass but I can't get through this without you, either."

They shared a look, and Puck said, "Where do you want to go, babe?" He didn't want to be with anyone at all right now besides Quinn either. No one else was going to know how he felt but Quinn.

Shrugging, Quinn said, "I don't care, just as long as I'm with you." She didn't want to be with anyone else but Puck right now.

Sighing, Puck started up his truck and backed out of the parking space. Not really sure where he was going, they left and he just drove for a little while. They sat in commanionable silence.

They ended up in the parking lot at McKinley. Quinn and Puck hung out on the tailgate of his truck. Puck had gotten them a six pack of Smirnoffs, mostly just to take the edge off. He'd had to promise that he wouldn't try to get in her pants. She had decided to trust him. Not that she would have minded, but she didn't want their relationship to just be about sex. She wanted it to be meaningful.

Puck sat close to her, and slipped his arm around her shoulders. It was Ohio and cold. She leaned into him, putting her head on his shoulder. Puck wondered if they were going to talk about how they felt about Beth being gone. He couldn't talk to anyone about it but Quinn. Even though he knew Beth was fine with Shelby. He wouldn't ever tell Quinn, but Shelby was _always _meant to be her mother. It didn't make the fact that she was gone hurt any less. He pressed a kiss to Quinn's forehead. "So, do you want to talk?" He asked.

Sipping from her Smirnoff, she mused about that. She wasn't sure she wanted to or not. But then again, Puck might want to. She supposed she could talk about things if Puck needed to. "Well, I guess." She said, leaning up to look at him.

"I know that giving her up was the best thing, but I am going to miss her. I liked getting to see her so much." Puck said, starting them off.

Quinn was glad that she had decided to stop trying to get Beth back. It had been a stupid idea. She knew Puck had wanted Beth to begin with, and sometimes she wished that she had raised Beth with Puck. She knew that Puck was going to feel even worse now that he had gotten to see Beth and know what she was like. Not that she didn't, she wished that she'd been able to keep her sometimes. But a part of her thought that Puck might have wanted her more. "I think Shelby should have stayed gone. I know you were glad that she brought her back, but I think if she had stayed gone, maybe it would have been better for us in the long run."

That didn't make a lot of sense to Puck, but it still hurt that she was gone. "You might be right, babe. We didn't know what we were missing when we didn't know her." He said, as he held her a little closer. It was more for him than it was for her. He needed her, not that he would ever admit it out loud. "Quinn, I just want you to know that you can lean on me if you need to."

Smiling, Quinn pulled his face towards hers, and she pressed a kiss to his lips. She knew that that was his way of telling her that he needed her. She needed him, too, and she was glad that he had said it first. She said, "I appreciate that, Noah." She laid her head back on his shoulder. She added, "You know, you can lean on me if you need to."

Turning his head, he wiped his face free of tears. Having Quinn say that to him meant a lot to him. He squeezed her a little tighter for a second. "Thanks, Q, I appreciate it or whatever."

"The only thing that's going to get us through this besides each other is time." Quinn said, but she had to admit, that she was feeling stronger with him here with her. "So, Puck, are we together? Did we decide if we are or not?" Quinn asked, lifting her head so she could look at him.

Shaking his head, he said, "No, we didn't, babe." He wondered if they would be now. "Do you want to be?" He asked. Quinn was the only girl in his life that he had ever considered marrying. He'd regretted telling her that he was going to be with other girls when they'd dated before. That was two years ago, and he had grown a lot since then.

She did, God help her. She could feel her eyes filling with tears. She put her hand on his chest, and he shifted a little so he could look at her a little better. "I do, Puck. But you have to promise that it's going to be different this time. I want to know that you aren't going to cheat on me. I just want to know that you're going to be the best boyfriend you can be. I know you're not perfect." She knew he could do it. He had been faithful to Lauren.

That sounded like something that he could do. He tucked some of Quinn's hair behind her ear. "I can do all of that. I love you, Quinn, and I don't want to be with anyone else, maybe ever. I love you more than I ever thought possible. I don't know how we'll make this work, but we will." He held her closer and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

She tilted her chin towards hers and pressed her lips to his, slipping her tongue into his mouth pretty easily. He was surprised, but kissed her back readily enough. Quinn didn't know if she wanted to sleep with him again, but she was definitely thinking it might be fun to make out with him. She pushed him down, in the back of the truck. She laid next to him and started kissing him again.

Puck was wondering exactly what was going to happen. He waited until the kiss broke to ask. "So, Quinn, what is going to happen? I'm fine with whatever does, but I just want to be clear is all." He said, hoping that she didn't think he was a jerk for asking.

Again, she thought about what she wanted. The Christian in her wanted to say no. She wasn't sure what to say, but finally, she decided that they should just see what happened. She got up for a minute, to pull the tailgate closed, it would be harder for someone to see them if it _did_ turn carnal. "I think we should just see what happens, but I promise, I will do my best to not be a tease." Quinn said.

That sounded great to Puck. He smiled that lazy Puckerman smile, and pulled her back lying next to him, so they were equal. He started kissing her again, feeling like his entire body was on vibrate. Kissing girls usually did that to him, but kissing Quinn made it happen so much differently. It made him feel like it was the first kiss they'd ever shared every time. It was so lame, but it was something he could do all day, kiss Quinn. It was amazing.

It felt like the best kissing she'd ever gotten. She could feel herself getting pretty wet. Apparently now that she'd had sex again, that could happen. She started breathing a little harder. Her hand was running all over Puck's body. Her hands kept going back to the best that was holding his pants up. Her fingers toyed with it.

Puck did not miss this, and his hand slipped up her skirt, and into her tights and underwear. She let out a breath, but didn't want to stop him. He found his fingers slipping inside of her pretty easily, she was a lot wetter than she had been the other night. Well, it was a few weeks ago, but still. He murmured in her ear, "Is this OK, babe?" He was asking to make sure she was fine.

Words were escaping her for the time being. She could hardly concentrate on anything but Puck's fingers inside of her. Slowly, she nodded, whispering, "Yes."

Good, Puck definitely didn't want to stop. While his fingers were moving inside her, she reached to his jeans, and began to unbuckle his belt. She got it open, and started working on his jeans. In between moans as Puck kept up his work. She almost wasn't able to get his jeans unzipped, her moans were taking up too much attention. Finally, though, she was rewarded with a soft pop. She was definitely ready for Puck to _really_ be inside her. "Babe, please. I need you inside me." She whispered, as her hand slipped inside his boxers to run her hand along his manhood.

Looking at her in surprise, Puck asked, "Are you sure?" He didn't want to get ready and then be told no.

"Yes, I am sure." Quinn said, practically shaking with need.

Getting the green light, Puck got up a little, letting his pants and boxers down, and pulling Quinn's tights and underwear down and lifting up her skirt. He spread her legs a little and she looked up at him, her eyes dark with desire. He carefully guided himself into her, although, she was definitely wet enough. He let his hips get into a good pace, and he wished that they had something to put underneath them, although, he could just wash his truck if need be.

As he thrust into her, Quinn stared into his brown eyes. She thought his eyes were beautiful. She wondered what was going to happen with them. Then an orgasm started coming on, and that was all she could think about. Sex was still a new thing to her, and she also couldn't believe it had all been with the same guy. Then it came over her and she ran her hands up his back, gripping hard as she moaned his name. "Oh, _Puck_." She said, sighing in ecstasy.

Grinning despite himself, Puck gave a last couple of thrusts and he was finished too. Slowly he pulled back out of her, wondering if they should have used a condom. He never had one usually. He hoped she wasn't still on her crazy 'let's make a baby' thing. He knew she wasn't on birth control. He hoped that they wouldn't have the same problem that they did two years ago. He helped her get put back together and then buckled and zipped his jeans back together. "So, I'd say that means we're together now for sure."

Giggling, Quinn let Puck put his arm around her and she laid next to him. Puck hugged her close. "I love you, Puck. I know I've been a bitch to you, and...I'm sorry." She had tears filling her eyes. She couldn't believe that she had all of this to go through. "I know I'm not going to make it through this without you."

Leaning to kiss her on the lips, Puck tightened his grip on her. "I love you and I'll help you. We'll help each other. I will do whatever it takes to help you." He ran his hands along her arms, trying to keep her warm.

Quinn leaned into Puck, and wiped her eyes. "We lost her twice, Puck. How can we get through that?" She asked, her head leaned on his chest. She sighed. She had gone through a lot since they had given up Beth, and she knew that she wasn't done. "I don't know how to do that."

Puck didn't know either, but he knew he wanted to try. He couldn't imagine continuing to hurt like this anymore. "I don't know, Quinn, but we have to. I can't hurt like this anymore, and we did the best thing for her. As much as I wanted to be in her life, maybe we aren't supposed to be. I know it's hard for us to look at it that way, but maybe that's how it needs to be. I think I need it to be that way in order to get past it."

Maybe Puck was right. Maybe they were just going to have to look at it that way. She agreed. "You're right. Maybe that and time will get us through this." Puck was glad she was on the same page he was. She supposed she should go home now. "Puck, come home with me. Spend the night with me." She wanted him to hold her so she could sleep.

"Ok." Puck said, and got up and opened the tailgate and helping her down.

The following weeks were hard, but they made it through together. It was still going to be hard but they could do it.

_**Author's note: Oh my God! I need my Quick as endgame so bad. Hope you liked!**_


End file.
